What's Your Relationship Ecosystem?
Discover which of four relationship ecosystems you're living in right now—and what that means for how you tend your relationship together.
Your relationship is one of four ecosystems.
Quiet Basin
Low Energy + Low Complexity
Calm & SteadyEmotional Climate
Calm and steady, with potential for drift or emotional plateau
What It Looks Like
Low conflict, low activation, emotionally quiet—sometimes at risk of disengagement
Stewarding Focus
Novelty, play, conscious emotional engagement, reflection on whether peace is masking avoidance
Shadowed Grove
Low Energy + High Complexity
Quiet & LayeredEmotional Climate
Quiet, layered, emotionally subdued or inward-facing
What It Looks Like
Slow-moving, reflective, with a lot happening beneath the surface
Stewarding Focus
Warmth, trust, and emotional safety; space to name what's felt without rushing to resolve it
Brushfire Plains
High Energy + Low Complexity
Fast & IntenseEmotional Climate
Fast-moving, intense, emotionally charged
What It Looks Like
Frequent flares, quick shifts, rapid cycles of rupture and repair
Stewarding Focus
Slowing down emotional pace, shared language for rupture and repair, reflection before resolution
Volcanic Rainforest
High Energy + High Complexity
Rich & AliveEmotional Climate
Rich, charged, alive, sometimes overwhelming
What It Looks Like
Layered and dynamic with deep histories, strong emotional currents, and dense meaning structures
Stewarding Focus
Rituals for repair, reflection, and coherence; practices that help make meaning together
HOW IT WORKS
Let me help. I'm Joshua Beckett, LMFT, a couples and trauma therapist.
I've  watched for years as couples use all the right techniques and communication tools and still feel tangled.
Then I realized something: before you can use the tools, you have to know what the tools are meant to support. You have to understand your relationship as a living ecosystem—not as a battlefield of competing needs.
That's why I created this assessment. It's the same foundational work I do with couples in my practice—helping them see their relationship clearly so they can tend it with intention, care, and authenticity.
I work with couples and individuals around relational patterns, attachment, and trauma. I believe authentic connection is possible, and it starts with seeing what's actually happening between you.
Introducing
The Relationship Ecosystem Assessment
A worksheet to guide you and your partner thoughtfully toward a deeper understanding of what your relationship's values are, what kind of world you're creating together, and the first step in answering the question "What does our relationship need right now?"
In 10 Minutes, You'll Understand...
Your relationship is a living system—not just two people negotiating individual needs. This assessment helps you see your ecosystem clearly by measuring two dimensions:
Energy — How emotionally charged, fast-moving, or flat your relationship tends to feel
Complexity — How many layers, entanglements, and co-created dynamics are in play
Once you answer 29 honest questions about how your relationship actually functions right now, you'll discover:
- Which of four relational ecosystems you're currently tending
- What your ecosystem reveals about your relationship's rhythms, gifts, and challenges
- The specific stewarding focus—what your relationship needs more (or less) of right now
- How to move from seeing your relationship as "broken" to understanding it as a living system that can be tended with intention and care
Ready to see your ecosystem clearly?
Your relationship deserves to be understood. This assessment is the first step.
